Absence makes the heart grow fonder OR Road Trip...

I know, I know, I have been horrible at posting on a regular basis.  I was reminded Monday night in reviewing my 101 Goals in 1001 Days (created thanks to Shaun Ring) that one of my goals was to blog.  Albeit a more consistent blogger, so here I am.

Owen is leaving tomorrow to go on Spring Break with my mother.  To Panama City Beach.  I know he will have fun, but I am definately on an emotional roller coaster.  I keep thinking What if....  which are all unpleasant "what if's..." and while I'm confident everything will go safely and he will have a BLAST, I just miss him already, and he hasn't even left yet.  For those of you who haven't gotten to spend a lot of time with my O MAN, he is a fantastic little boy.  He has a great heart and desperately tries to be a "peacemaker" in spite of himself.  Owen is just a blessing...  He has a huge personality and he manages it well.  But he is also very sweet and loving.  He still wants me to hold him, carry him, and hold his hand.  He loves giving kisses (and even gets offended when Addy is being a DIVA, and won't return the affection).

So he is leaving.  12 hours away.  And he is very excited.  He is talking about going on a pirate cruise.  He wants to see dolphins.  He wants to go parasailing, again.  Yes, I said again.  He and I went last year and he LOVED it!!!

Tomorrow evening I am supposed to drop him and his bags off and not see him again until after spring break is over.  I just don't know if I can do it...or if I can do it without crying.  I don't want him to see me cry.  I don't want him to be upset, but I want him to know I will miss him.  Guess that means I will have to download skype.

The sad thing is, I think Mommy is going to have a harder time with this than Owen will. Owen will be enthralled and bug the daylights out of Uncle Hunter and Grandmomma will spoil him rotten.  I have remided her that he still needs naps and I'm sure she will try to sneak one in as well.  Owen loves crab and shrimp ALMOST as much as his Mommy and I know he will be on his BEST behavior.  ;)

::SIGH::

Recent Developments

Looks like my BLOG didn't post Friday  :(  So I posted it today.  Things have been a little fast-paced over the past few days and so I haven't been "online" too much. 


Saturday was so much fun.  It started with Home Depot's Building Clinic (we made a Home Depot race car) and then to Fayette Mall for Read Across America.

We then went to PF Changs for lunch and sprinting through the parking lot in the RAIN just in time to come home and put the kiddos down for naps.  I had plans to hang out with Amy, getting pedicures and hanging out, but I had to skip pedicures but I did get to go to Drake's which was a blast.  Something about hanging out with friends and just talking while listening to "old school" music is just fun. 

Sunday was PERFECT!!  Our friends, the Staffords, dedicated their beautiful baby girl, Callaway.  You can read all about it here on thier blog. It was fabulous.  Sunday night at the Richmond Campus, Owen FINALLY got to put on a "yellow shirt" and direct traffic for parking.  He's wanted to do this "all of (his) life!!!"  But he was ADORABLE!!!

What a ham!!!!!!  So that was our weekend.  Uneventful, really, but that's a good thing!! 

Tonight I have a Parents Meeting for Owen's Wee Ball League.  Luckily, I think one of my Mommy Group friends is our team mom.  Other than that, I have no idea what's going on.  I know that baseball (or even Fall Ball Season) makes Mommy a bit crazier because it's one more "thing" to add to our calendar.  However, I have to focus on more than just me these days.  Luckily, I have some pretty wonderful friends and family that help me out.  It really does take a village.  AND my other class for this semester starts tonight.  As of yesterday my teacher hadn't even posted the syllabus, so hopefully there is no homework due tonight, or I could get a wee but cranky!

Faith and Paitence

Random Thoughts from Friday 3/4

I am full of random thoughts all of the time.  I just like to interact with people I guess.  Whether its texts or emails, games or phone conversations. I LOVE IT.  I think for people who don't understand me, they probably think I am annoying, but...to each his own. 

I started to add some apps to my new little $17 iPhone 3GS.  Words with friends is really cute.  Now, I am playing this LEGITIMATELY (no help from thefreewordfinder.com)  I used that a lot on my other phone playing a similar scrabble-ish game because I would loose and loose miserably.  I'm not a sore loser, I just can't stand getting beat by 7 letter compounded words that I've not ever heard of and can't pronounce and there's no way "Billy Bob" has that kind of vocabulary.  However, my vocabulary did grow using the "Cheat Site" so I have a little ammunition in my arsenal...especially words that are 2 or three letters with no vowels at your disposal   :D   Now, hopefully my FRIENDS won't cheat  ;)

Got to see friends at lunch, and text with a few and it just makes my day.  Who remembers what we did without cell phones? 

There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning...

While these are lyrics to one of my favorite songs, they are also words referenced in Psalm 30:4-5

 ⁴ Sing the praises of the LORD, you his faithful people;
   praise his holy name.
⁵ For his anger lasts only a moment,
   but his favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may stay for the night,
   but rejoicing comes in the morning.

Here's the YOU TUBE Link to hear the song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjQYl7x2Yy4


So yesterday I filled my day with a lunch "Connection Cafe" with other women of the church and Connect Group while the kids attended KidzPoint, thier connect group.  One of the discussions we had at CG was about where we were in our spiritual walk.  Now, did I WANT to admit to other people I was slacking?  Of course not.  But, it boils down to honesty.  I'm not where I should be.  Do I make time for God?  Sure.  Do I pray?  Most days, I say those quick "help so and so...." when I see someone in need.  I do have a prayer journal that I have written in, however, I'm not THAT good with keeping it with me.  I think it needs to have a new home in my car or something?  But as I talked about yesterday, I have become convicted that God wants me to sit down and communicate.  I struggle with that because I know he knows my heart and saying it out loud or even in my head seems a little strange.  What I forget most days is that HE is my Heavenly Father, and the communication has to be from me to him through prayer and me reading his response in the Bible. 

So...Working on PRAYER!!!  Speaking of...I know a lot of you have been praying for me and I appreciate it.  Wes did come over last night to talk.  Well, he talked, I listened and I think God is working in his life.  But htat is between him and God.  He apologized for his choices and we will see where it goes...we BOTH have some things to work on. 

Coupled with prayer, is worship.  Now, this is my favorite thing to do.  I love listening to worship music and I feel that is where my praise and glorifying HIM come from.  I could listen to songs over and over and sing out to my God.  When I listen to music, it puts whatever frustration I am feeling on the back burner...I can focus on the music.  Sometimes, the songs help me to rememeber I am not the only one going through trials, but even in the midst of my trials I can praise him. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkHFHiyusSI

Another one of my favorite songs "Desert Song" and I love it when Serah and Susan sing it at church.  I find myself to cling to those words "All of my life, in every season, you are still God, I have a reason to sing. I have a reason to worship." "I will rejoice. I will declare. God is my victory and he is here."  So powerful!

Thanks for listening! 

Faith and Patience

Sometimes God reminds us of the important things in life when you are not looking....

Sometimes God reminds us of the important things in life when you are not looking....

An odd post I thought, by a friend who is definately not a believer.  Curious, I peeked on her page to see what she may be talking about.  In short, it was a post about a mother she saw at a Dr office that was her age, the lady's son was her son's age and he had downs. 

I went and picked up (her son's) shot record at the pediatrician's office this morning. A mom, about my age, came in with her son, who was about my own son's age. He had down syndrome and possibly other handicaps. I couldnt help but smile at ...her but definitely had to fight back tears as I thought about how lucky I am to have a child who was not handicapped. I thought about how strong of a woman she was as I could not even imagine walking in her shoes for a day. I felt sort of guilty for being thankful for (her son), and sad because I could only imagine that child's struggles. I guess I ultimately smiled and when he came over to me I interacted with him because I wanted his mom to know that she should be proud of her son and of herself and there are people out there who do recognize her heartache and strength and her boy is still amazing being just who he is.

And then I was appalled.  A couple of comments below that was a "friend's" comment.  We shall call her Jane:

I wonder if that mother is pissed at "God" for giving her son a life of struggle and hurt. She should be.

So immediately I spring into action:

For simplicity's sake I will let friends comments be in BLUE, Jane's in PINK, and mine in PURPLE:

 

Let's hope not. (and I do not believe she should be upset) She was blessed with a son. God never gives us more than we can handle. Being born is a miracle in and of itself, especially these days.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” d...eclares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. " Jeremiah 29:11

plans I have for you"...what might that be?
"plans to prosper you"...the majority of people with down syndrome are not very prosperous
"not to harm you"...oh c'mon LORD
"plans to give you hope and a future"...what kind of future might that ...be?

i know some very prosperous people with all sorts of afflictions, but the LORD GOD ALMIGHTY has plans not only for our earthly lives, but our eternal life as well. In the midst of struggles we are to turn to God and we are given His grace... and His mercy.
Even in the midst of my trials and troubles (my husband walked out on me and my 2 kids last night) I have been able to find comfort and joy with my relationship with God. I know things happen for a reason and I am comforted to know when I die I will go to heaven. Obviously you are not a believer and so there's not much else for me to say. I pray that God will draw you near to him.

 

All that know me know I am not a religious person, I cant quote scripture and I just went to mass for the first time in years, and do a lot of other unholy crap but I do believe that there is something after life and that there is a higher ...being. I dont necessarily agree that God made that child that way. But I look at it like this...you deal with your life the best you can, making the most out of it and handling the challenges etc. If there is a God I think he would look over your life and give the thumbs up or thumbs down (not literally but you get the jist).

(Jane): I understand where your coming from. I bet a lot of parents wonder why...I know I probably would. I envied that woman's strength. Put in those same shoes I probably would pull through, I am just thankful Im not in them.

 

(Friend) I am with you. I have only been a believer for a year and a half and I am thankful each day for my relationship with God. He has changed me in many ways. In this short year and a half of being a believer, I have learned there i...s only one way to be saved... Romans 10:9 says confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that he died and rose again and you WILL be saved.
There is another verst that states I think it's Romans 3:23 For the wages (payment) of sin is death (hell) but the FrEE gift of God is eternal life in heaven.

Ephesians 2:8-9 tells us there is nothing we can DO to be saved:
For by grace are you saved through faith, and that not of yourselves. It is the gift of God, not of works, lest any man should boast.

Isaiah 64:6 says All of us have become like one who is unclean,
and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags;
we all shrivel up like a leaf,
and like the wind our sins sweep us away.

So it is by our faith we are saved not by any of the good works we do, our good works are nothing compared to HIM.

I'll get off my soap box now that my lunch is over. But I have been changed RADICALLY since coming into a relationship with Jesus and I encourage healthy conversation. I definately do not have all of the answers by any means.

Have a good day (Friend)  :D

 

wow, that was a lot of _______ to read through. you both have a right to believe what you believe, I just think that people should think about the whole god thing a little deeper, use the good part of your brain, and not give God "credit" ...(for lack of a better word at this moment) for all good and bad in peoples lives. God had nothing to do with it, shit happens, people are born fucked up, it's extremly sad and painful to see. It just makes me crazy that people say "it's God's plan", what to make fucked up people that have little to no chance at a normal good life. CRAZY! I think it's SATAN!! I shouldn't have to say this but just kidding.

 

sin entered the world through one man and thus, yes the world from there was "messed" up...adam and eve passed down to us a sin nature and "stuff" does happen, God doesn't necessarily make or cause it to happen but he allows it. Note in th...e bible the story of Abraham or better yet the story of Job. In Job, he looses EVERYTHING family friends etc. as God allowed Satan to do that to prove to Satan and to Job the power of God in his life....powerful book that we just did a study on at church.
The good news for believers is that once this eartly life is over, we have eternity in heaven with our Lord...where there is no pain, no suffering and I am blessed by that.

Then another friend comments:

I have worked with special needs children and god hand picks those parents because not everyone gives unconditional love and you have to be able to do that and you also have to be forgiving of the ignorant stares and people who choose to make fun and not understand these children are a gift from God himself.

I know that is a long preface and a lot of information to follow, I hope you could follow, though.  All of that to say...here are my thoughts.  First, God revealed to me MY FAITH through that conversation.  I could have easily clammed up and ran away from the initial confrontation.  I could have let last night's incident make a rift between my relationship with God.  But the fact that NEITHER of those happened, and I stood up and used the BIBLE as my defense, as a gut reaction proves to me that my faith is still strong...and through that faith...with his patient hand and guidance, I will survive this trial. 

Second, I need to focus on my blessings.  I have so much to be thankful for.  My children, my family, my church, and my friends.  While this experience with my husband is not an enjoyable one, all things considered, I have been BLESSED!!!!! The third thing I have realized is that I ENJOY BLOGGING!!!  Usually if something like this happened I would only talk to a select group of friends and family, and even then wouldn't be very open.  Granted I have chosen not to post the knit-picky details, however, I feel there is just enough for you to understand the situation.  I have made a resolution, whatever the outcome, not to bash my husband, because I know he is hurting too.  The old me, the "BC" me as Sam Cirrincione would say (BEFORE CHRIST) me...would have used every FB, Twitter, etc. outlet to "trash talk" him. 

As I stated before, sin entered the world though ONE MAN, but luckily we have God's grace and Mercy.

Speaking of grace and mercy...(I think it goes hand in hand with faith and patience so we can talk about it :) )

I've learned the difference between the two.  Mercy is where God does NOT give us what we do deserve.  Grace is when He gives us what we don't deserve. 

Make sense?

The final thing I have learned from today and maybe what God is telling me...is that I need to PRAY MORE. 

PRAY MORE specifically,  PRAY MORE often.  PRAY!!!!  PRAY!!!!  PRAY!!!!!

Faith and Patience

And then the trials come....

My mother's favorite saying is "Faith and Patience"  It's not one of those things she's said all of her life, just something relatively new within the past few years.  Who knew that after creating my blog and agonizing over what it should be called yesterday, that I would be faced with a trail, to test my faith and my patience.

Consider it pure joy,my brothers & sisters,whenever you face trials of many kinds,because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature & complete,not lacking anything.James 1:2-4

While in the midst of this trial, it is by far challenging to consider it pure joy.  However, even in the past 14 hours that my husband decided to leave the house, I have chosen to find joy in this trial. 

Joy wasn't easy to find at first.  In the aftermath of the initial fight, and he walked out the door, he left his phone.  I decided to put away laundry and in the middle of that, his mother came in the house.  Now, she didn't know about the fight, however, I matter-of-factly stated that we were arguing and he left.  He called her from where he was, and she took his phone to him.  My mother-in-law has been very good about staying neutral in these types of situations, which not every one could, rather would, do.

I kept very busy, even while trying to have a "grown up" conversation on the phone.  Then the kids came home.  Now, my husband usually works late, so it was no surprise to them to come home and Daddy not be there.  I was hoping to find JOY in my children.  However, at that particular moment, that was not the case.  Owen threw a FIT, over what I really don't know, but it was bed time and he didn't want to go to bed...and he "wanted to tell Poppa something" I knew that because he shouted that about fify times in a demonic voice for about twenty minutes which caused my little girl to become upset as well. 

So, by 7:45 kids were in bed and I had logged on for my Master's Class online...took my final, submitted it, and fell asleep on the couch.  I woke up at midnight, made my way up the stairs and to the bed.

That was the first shimmer of joy.  My bed.  I like my bed. It is very comfortable.  My husband doesn't agree, but such is life.  I laid down and fell asleep with a shimmer of joy that no one would be stealing my covers...

4am.  A second sighting of joy, when my son decided to get up and go looking for a cup of water, turning all the lights on upstairs.  I quickly got up, got him a cup of water, turned off the lights, let him drink and pulled him up in the bed with me. 

4:30am O was up again wanting more water.  I drearily got up and gave him some more water.  And then more joy.  He says, "Thank you for the water, Mommy.  I love you so much.  You are so helpful."  MORE JOY!

Somewhere in between a couple calls and a couple texts from schools wanting me to come in and sub...Addy decided to come crawl in the bed.  Normally, Addy bypasses me for Daddy or Owen, but she did give me a quick hug and told me "love you" so there you have, MORE JOY.

We all proceeded to get up, get dressed, and be off on our merry way to daycare, Grandmomma's, Ms. Amy's, so that Mommy could go to work. 

Owen got to spend a few minutes with Grandmomma (and Princess Kate Kate) this morning.  That boy loves his Grandmomma and she loves him.  It is definately a joyous sight to see. 

So the day has started and I have no idea where it will lead.  I am hopint that this trail ends with me being "complete and not lacking in anything" as James tells us in the Bible. 

This BLOG definately hasn't started out as I had envisioned, but it's a start nonetheless.  I wanted to document my life and keep track of funny and interesting things that happen on a daily basis.  While not funny or necessarily interesting, it is a part of my life and I decided to include it on the blog.  Thanks for listenting...

Faith and Patience

The Origin of Faith and Patience

FAITH AND PATIENCE

(History of The Origin of All Things - Vol 2 - Appendix V)

Faith leads to patience, for without faith man must be impatient. faith is a sure leader to patience because to him who has it patience is but an exercise of faith, and to him who has it not it is an exercise of trust in something future which is analogous to faith, though perhaps not true spiritual faith itself. In the progress of a soul to union and harmony in God and with God, man is often required to be patient. God's time is the true time for the performance of any work, but how often do we find men entering upon a good work in their own time? God is the director of every work He wills to have accomplished, and all else than such must end in confusion to the undertaker and disappointment to its projectors. God chooses sometimes to try His servants' patience very severely, for they sometimes think the way is plain and the opportunity the best that can occur. But all know or may know by reflection, that if the work be not of God it must fail, whereas if it be of God it shall not be arrested but shall fulfill God's object.

Faith worketh patience and patience worketh charity or love, says Paul, though he speaks particularly of the trial of faith. But it is the faith that gives the patience, and if the trial of faith does not find it patient, it may well be questioned whether faith has or had an existence. Faith and patience are inseparably connected, and the latter is the consequent of the former. so the exercise of patience is not only a proof of our trial but of our maintenance of faith. Be, then, attentive to your work, listen to the voice of God within you calling you to be ready to work, to be willing to surrender all to God and to the work He calls you to do. When you have made yourself all ready and can say: Here am I, O Lord, ready to do what Thou hast called me to do, and willing to be used in Thy will whenever and wherever Thou art pleased to have me act, and willing to wait for Thy time to act, even if that time should be far distant, and should not come to me in the body but should be delayed until my entrance into the second or third sphere of my existence--thus submitting to God's will and awaiting His time, be patient, and He will bless you and reward you as a faithful servant who has fought the good fight with the powers of his own free-will and submitted all to God, as one who has worked for the great cause of salvation by saving his own soul, which is all a man can do even with God's help. All that is done must be done by God for the man's own soul, for God only can save souls and be the Redeemer of the world.

Have faith, then; let your faith work patience; and let your patience work charity and love. Patience is not an end but a means, a work of progress even when you seem most inactive. Cultivate patience, the waiting upon God for His guidance and help, and the everlasting Father of men will reward you openly for your quiet heart-rendered obedience and advance you to more active duties, call you to greater sacrifices, greater patience, and the most arduous tasks shall seem trifles to him who has God on his side.